Category: This ‘n’ That

I’d really like nothing better than to stay in bed today — the weather is perfect for it (overcast and damp) and I am catching a cold (the first one in a very long time, years, I think) — but it is not to be. Today I must pack up the kitchen in preparation for renovation. Demolition is supposed to start on Monday. Demolition is really too strong a word, we’re not gutting and rebuilding; in fact the floor plan will barely change…well, maybe just a little. The refrigerator will shift position opening up a space to extend a secondary counter just a tad. The cabinets will get a facelift, and a few will be reconfigured on the inside so that the deeper recesses will have pull-out shelves for easier access. But the real deal is the kitchen counter, which is huge (12′ x 4′), central to the house and opens to the family room. This will become the design focal point of the space with bold new tiles. (Can you tell I’ve been watching too much HGTV?) I don’t like small tiles or lots of grout, so the tiles are 13″ X 13″ Galaxy Red — the name is deceptive as the color is not red at all; really more reddish-brown with golden tones.

You learn a lot when you do these projects (No, I’m not doing the work, just the planning). Tiles are much less costly than slabs of granite or marble, but they get you on the trim pieces. Whatever the tile might cost per square foot, the V-cap (that’s the counter edging) might cost eight to ten times as much for a 6-inch piece. Same goes for the corners and beaks. I got around this by abandoning the Galaxy in lieu of complimentary but less expensive trim pieces from a different company.

As for the rest of the plans, the linoleum floor will also be replaced with ceramic tile — Bengali Beige — which has a few veins of golden brown in it that match the counter (hard to tell in these pix), and the long-past-its-prime wall-to-wall carpet in the family room will give way to bamboo flooring, economical and ecologically friendly as bamboo is what they call a renewable resource.

So that’s the overview of what’s to come. Maybe I’ll post before and after pix…we’ll see.

Disappointed is not a word that could even begin to do justice to what I felt when she said “Panda Inn.” It was Friday evening and I had called my friends to find out where we were to meet for my special birthday dinner the next night. Originally, they were to have chaufeured, but now that my parents had flown in to join us, I needed to drive so I could pick them up at the hotel first. There is nothing wrong with Panda Inn, we go there all the time, but that fact was itself the problem to me: there is nothing at all special about the local Chinese eatery, a place that I feel fine frequenting when clad in jeans.

“Panda Inn?” I repeated. “Umm. Oh. What time?”

I’m sure she heard between the lines, and I kicked myself repeatedly over the next 24-hours for feeling so ungrateful. These were my best friends, friends who saw me through the cancer war, and my parents flew all the way from New York just for a weekend to celebrate my birthday. Wasn’t that special enough?!

When we walked into the restaurant I was trying hard to be upbeat, but I was getting annoyed all over again. It was a crowded Saturday night, and my girlfriend was waiting for us up front to say they had seated us in the back – my least favorite spot in the whole restaurant – and her husband was back there holding the table.

The back room is not huge, but as I scanned the tables I did not see her husband. I was about to ask her “where?” — and then I saw them all in the private room off to the right – more than two dozen of my best friends, neighbors, and even my cousins who live in San Jose. I couldn’t take it all in.

I was truly speechless, a fact which caused great glee for many of my friends who know me to be opinionated and seldom if ever at a loss for words. In addition to my four best girlfriends who had been in cahoots with my mother to pull this off, the Coolidge Avenue gang (a/k/a the neighborhood) was there in force. Others at the table included a longtime friend who I hadn’t seen much since she adopted three children, a friend who writes for the Los Angeles Times, and a couple who I would describe as my newest friends (he’s a contractor and she’s an actress – you’ll hear more about them in weeks to come as he’s the one who is about to refurbish our kitchen/family room).

The food was plentiful – first came the pot stickers and cup of soup, then a steady stream of entrées including honey-walnut shrimp (my personal favorite), Wok-Seared Scallops (or was it the Sizzling Scallops?), a chicken with asparagus dish, Asian Spiced Beef Short Ribs served with fat noodles, Crispy Fish Fillets (very spicy), Sautéed Mixed Vegetables, and more. The birthday cake (a lemon mouse cake) was brought in from my favorite bakery, Patticakes .

In addition to some wonderful gifts that included a to-die-for pearl and diamond necklace that my husband designed, an iPod nano given to me by a coalition of neighbors (I’m the number 2, or maybe number 3, tech guru on the street, but the only one heretofore without an ipod), an issue of Life magazine from 1955 (it cost only 20-cents back then), gift certificates, champagne and wine, and books, one of my friends had collected cards and greetings from friends who lived afar so that they could “be there” too. Well-wishers from afar included pianist Norman Simmons (my Libra brother who wanted to know what took me so long to make it to 50), my friends in Westchester who “adopted” me into their family when I was a moody teenager, and a neighbor of whom I am very fond and miss as she moved away after her husband died. A few of the cards made me teary, and several made me laugh. Most had messages or quotations that I will share with you over the coming days, and two people have promised to send me pictures, so perhaps I’ll post a few snaps on the blog later in the week.

It was truly a special evening.

Tomorrow I turn fifty, so what will I do today-the last-day-of-the-first-half? I thought about not working, not posting to the blog, not doing anything on demand…but that’s not my nature. Most of what I enjoy doing is, in some way, part of my work. My reading generally informs my work (except when I on rare occassion when I “escape” into trade trash novels), and surfing the web is usually for research or at least fodder for thought and possible blog posting. [Speaking of which, Mr. Teachout very serendipitously posted today a particularly pertinent reprise of his August 2004 Antepenultimate posting.] Even playing Free Cell on the computer is usually a trigger for loosening my brain enough to think more creatively about one project or another.

I have a stack of books to read about Duke Ellington, who was a huge influence on Luther Henderson and with whom he worked very closely — books are soon due back at the library, so I’d best get to them quickly. I’ve got a 3000-word article due soon, plans and calls to make in my new role as Minister of Education for the Jazz Journalists Association, and then there are the chores of a personal nature that, being chores, also qualify as work: picking up clothes at the cleaners, picking out a new sink and faucet for the soon-to-be renovated kitchen, and so on. Actually, one thing I have to do today that is not a chore at all is pick up my parents at the airport. They’re coming out for a weekend visit, a mother/daughter spa treatment, and a quiet birthday dinner for six (two friends are joining us) someplace nice, I’m told. By Sunday afternoon, though, I’ll be back at work as I have scheduled a phone interview with choreographer Hope Clark.

Have a nice weekend, see you on Monday.

“It’s becoming more and more less true.”

I heard someone say that on the radio a few days ago. Along the similar lines, Terry Teachout made mention today (here) of a book titled Slam Dunks and No-Brainers: Language in Your Life, the Media, Business, Politics, and, Like, Whatever. I think I’ll read it, too. Then maybe I’ll post the top ten words or phrases that bug me the most.

I wonder what our television viewing habits say about us? I was blog browsing over the weekend and saw that a few folks (Reflections in D minor*, Jaquandor , and Tosy and Cosh ) have posted their tv viewing preferences for the new season [Drat! I forgot that West Wing has moved to Sunday evenings.] So I might as well Fall-in. (Sorry, pun intended.)

Sunday
I really like Cold Case and West Wing, now both on at 8 PM. Guess I’ll have to start taping (don’t have TiVo). Then Law & Order Criminal Intent followed by Grey’s Anatomy (unless Grey’s gets too stupid, in which case I’ll watch Crossing Jordon, otherwise I may watch Jordon during re-runs or taped).

Monday
Nothing really until Medium at 10 PM (I like this one a lot), but if I really really want to watch something earlier, Las Vegas can be amusing.

Tuesday
8 PM NCIS (but I’m gonna miss Agent Kate Todd a/k/a Sasha Alexander). 9 PM nothing!!!!!!!! Well, maybe Commander In Chief, if it lasts, but I don’t really care for Geena Davis; on the other hand, Donald Sutherland…. And 10 PM Boston Legal and Law & Order SVU (I’ll have to tape one).

Wednesday
Not much until Law & Order at 10 PM – and this is not my favorite of the franchise — I love Lt. Anita Van Buren/S. Epatha Merkerson, but can’t stand Det. Joe Fontana/Dennis Farina).

Thursday
CSI at 9 PM, followed by Without a Trace at 10 — both of which I can live without. ER lost me a few seasons ago.

Friday
8 PM Haven’t checked out Ghost Whisperer yet…so maybe. Nothing at 9 unless Dateline has a story of interest. Maybe Numbers at 10, but I’m not that big a fan.

Saturday
Looks like network movie night, and not likely to hold much appeal.

*Note: Reflections in D minor has changed its name and address to A Sweet, Familiar Dissonance. I should probably watch less television and read more blogs. Links to this and a few other recommended blogs can be found in the last box in the left sidebar.

Tuesday, in my FAN-tastic! post, I told you about two buddies, both fans of Nancy Wilson, one of whom just retired. I emailed them to say I had written about them without revealing their identities, offered to remove the posting if it made them uncomfortable in any way, or, conversely, identify them if they so desired. They opted for the latter, and said some very nice things in the process — Thanks, guys. You made my day, again.

Now I’m going to give them the last word. First from the new man of leisure, David Moss:

Thank you so much for posting my sentiments on your website. I feel even more honored and thrilled having communicated with you and Nancy. You are truly terrific personalities.

I started reading my book today and it brought back such wonderful memories of the great musicians I have always enjoyed and continue to listen to today. I actually have music on vinyl of many of the artists John managed. This is truly awesome – thanks again.

And by all means, please feel free to identify me on your website – I am a proud fan and want to share the love.

And from Dave’s really good friend Stan Skinner, the man who first contacted me to ask Ms. Wilson for a special favor:

We are honored!! By all means mention us. I was talking to Thelma [Dave’s wife] and we were both saying how good it was to know that people like you, John and Nancy who have played amongst the stars are still kind and thankful. You guys are the notes that create the harmony in this world.

Fans make all sorts of requests of performers — from the simple “please send me an autographed picture” to the absurd, such as “Can you come to my husband’s surprise party and sing happy birthday?” Once in a while, however, a request touches me for one reason or another, and I try to make it happen. I’m not talking about the tear-jerker last-wish type of requests, just a simple request like the one I got recently from a man asking if Nancy Wilson would send a letter of retirement congratulations to his buddy who has been a lifelong fan. The man making the request said “It would be one of those special things in life that makes it all worthwhile,” and while he, too, was also a lifelong fan, he asked for nothing for himself. In fact, he added, “If this cannot be done, I will understand and we will still be loyal fans.”

I don’t know why, but I decided to call the guy and find out more about him and his friend. Long story short, the guy about to retire first saw Nancy at a New York club called The Blue Morocco — it was truly at the very beginning of her career. Years later, that same man got in line with a whole bunch of women at a shopping mall in Atlanta where Nancy was promoting a line of cosmetics. He really wanted that autograph, and he got it. I took note of a few more details and called Nancy. She sent the letter, along with two copies of Men Women and Girl Singers (one for the retiree and the other for the buddy who made the request).

I wish I could have been there to see their faces and hear the reaction, but I did get an email from the buddy making the request. He wrote:

I must tell you that the last few days have been one of those rare moments where I can say that life has a funny way of bringing a person back into the fold. The meaning of that takes me back to Music and Art High where I started playing Trombone and writing seriously. From there I played in various Army Bands and with various backup bands for great legends. This went on for 25+ years. I just jam with a few friends and sit in now and then.

Reading all about your husband and how he has been associated with all my favorites (especially the ones who used to play on the CTI label), has sparked a new musical interest. I do remember some things about him from Downbeat magazine and he definitely deserves the award coming up in January. John is just a legend himself!…I am just in awe to be in touch with such royalty!

I sincerely want to thank you again for your kindness and for being down to earth which are rare qualities these days. “You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them” — M. Forbes

I had never before read or heard that quote attributed to Malcolm Forbes, but you never know what impact your actions might have. For me, these are the moments that make it all worthwhile.

Addendum: After writing the above, I received an email from the retiree himself. He said, in part:

There were probably 100 guests at my retirement luncheon with various roast jokes and friendship testimonials … all wonderful. But you can only imagine how overwhelmed I was when [my friend] presented me with a letter from my absolutely most favorite performer Nancy Wilson. I was so surprised it took me a minute or two to come around. Then I was elated … This truly touched my heart … I will treasure these gifts always. Thank you for making me feel so honored and making my retirement celebration so special!

Cliched though it may be, it’s the little things that can make the biggest difference in someone else’s life. Who have you made happy today?